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Why You Need Others to Speak Truth Into Your Life

October 12, 2011

Recently, I tried on some black pants to go with my new black glittery TOMS that I got for my birthday. I looked in the mirror and felt pretty good about the pants.

I opened the dressing room door and took a good look in the big mirror. I asked the college-aged girl a few feet in front of me if she would give me her honest opinion about my pants. She stared at them for a while and said:

“I don’t LOVE them. You know, you and me, we kind of have short legs, and I don’t know. I don’t LOVE them.”

I was a little surprised by her response but took in what she was saying.

“Okay, yeah, thanks for being honest. I really appreciate it.”

She nodded her head and went back into her dressing room. My pride was a little crushed but I loved her honesty.

The black pants I had on were skinny jeans and I happened to have several pairs in my closet that I wear regularly. I went back into my dressing room and took a harder look in the mirror. I discovered that the black pants really weren’t flattering on me. And none of the skinny jeans I’d owned fit that t.i.g.h.t.!

The college girl was right after all.

The more I live my life, the more grateful I am to have others who will tell me not just what I want to hear, but who will tell me the truth in love. Even if it stings a little. Okay, a lot.

Because when we know the Truth, it guides us closer to healing.

Let me share a story.

One of my closest friends, Julia, and her husband Jay, were over for dinner at our place one night several years ago. We were laughing and having a good time. But in the course of our time together, at one point, my actions and tone of voice were very disrespectful to my husband Jeremiah.

The evening carried on and before Jay and Julia were about to leave, Julia approached me one on one and said she noticed my behavior and how it made Jeremiah look bad. In a loving, caring way, she helped open my eyes to my sin.

It hurt deeply to hear her words. I felt exposed and it was humbling. But I was able to tell her flat out that I struggled with disrespect and not knowing how to communicate my frustrations with my husband.

Julia encouraged me to talk to Jeremiah and really work on that area in my life. I asked her to hold me accountable. I knew how serious it was to find healing from this sin in my marriage.

Her willingness to speak truth into my life brought me closer to grappling with my sin and fighting it.

Over the years, I often remember that life-changing evening and as a wonderful friend, Julia has consistently held me accountable and I appreciate how open our relationship is. While I’m still imperfect at times, I’ve been able to see my sin clearer and make the necessary changes to build up our marriage, instead of tearing it down.

Indeed, Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He is our ultimate healer, but by His grace He chooses to use other people in our life to help fashion us more into his image.

Are you speaking the truth to those you love? Are you allowing them to tell you the truth? Maybe you have a story of your own…

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. – Prov. 27:17

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Julia Wells permalink
    October 12, 2011 7:12 pm

    I love you Samanth! It was really fun to read this and the truth is, you were the one who was so open with me first that I felt comfortable enough to talk to you! You were my inspiration to be so transparent. You’re the best and I love our friendship.
    Love Jul

  2. Bethy Collins permalink
    October 12, 2011 9:25 pm

    With my sons autism, two other little ones and a husband who was always gone via the US Army I survived by planning. I planned every minute of every day and outtings with the children were especially challenging. Always keeping in the back of my mind,what could possible set Tyler off into a tantrum. These tantrums always included the “autie scream” that cut lunches short, sent us racing out of stores and gotten us kicked out of the school and hospital ER. After a couple of years of obsessive planning it became a part of my behavior. So when we moved to a base where my husband was home most of the time and two of the kids were in school, life was without a doubt less hectic. Yet I still planned everything to a tee as if life depended on it. Locked into this pattern I turned into the one having the melt downs when something didn’t go just as I had imagined it would. I tried to make everything perfect and worked hard to do so because I loved my family and wanted us all to have a good time. My husband the happy go lucky guy didn’t care if the kids would rather just feed the ducks instead of spending the day I had planned so carefully to go fishing with a picnic after but we no longer had the bread because the kids gave it all to the ducks. I had lost MY flexibility and adaptabilty. I would snap at my husband or the kids and feel horrible after all was said and done. What was I teaching them with my behavior? How did their father and I look to the children as I fussed at him in front of them? I thanked God for showing me that I had a problem. Good intensions had turned into damage being done. But no matter how hard I tried, I would react before I thought things through. Saying sorry and asking for forgiveness afterward just wasn’t cutting it. It needed to STOP. So I asked my husband to help me. We agreed for him to jump right in as soon as he would see me cross a line. Yes I would be angry at his correction at first, after all who likes being called out? But he stood firm and with his love, respect and kind heart I would calm down and thank him. I needed him to help me break that cycle by opening my eyes while I was blind in the heat of the moment. In time I learned to recognize my own pattern and learned to act instead of react to the situation that presented itself. It has made me a better wife and mother.

    • October 13, 2011 1:17 pm

      that’s an awesome testimony Beth. Thank you for sharing. It’s amazing what the Lord will teach us when we are open. I like how said “it needed to Stop!”

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