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Are you emotionally available?

January 22, 2010

One of the greatest things I’m learning as a mom are the many things that try to compete with the time and attention I give to my almost 15 month old son.

This past Wednesday when we were at lunch at Panera, I held John in my arms while we ordered soup, salad, mac & cheese, and chocolate milk. The cashier ladies made faces at him and he smiled back so excited. I loved seeing his new teeth come through and how his light brown hair was getting a little longer. At the table, my mom and I talked about life while we tried to feed John the macaroni he didn’t want. He was always on my mind and he was right there with us, just speaking his own language.

When we came back for his nap, even though I had a little work to do from home, I kept thinking how grateful I was to be his Mommy. Even though he was a little grouchy when he woke up, I hugged him and rocked him whispering in his ear, “I was once a grouchy little girl too.” And it came to my realization that I wanted him to know that I was not only physically there for him, but I was there emotionally too. And that I would be as long as I was his mother.

Many of us play a lot of roles as Mommy, Dad, husband, wife, aunt, uncle, friend, sister, brother, etc. And I think it’s safe to say that sometimes we’re just not always there with the people we love. I’m not. But, I’ve been really challenged to make sure that I’m finding “quiet” in my mind so that I can be all there. For me, that means first caring for my soul spiritually. Then…

Nourishing my marriage.
Taking care of self.
Pursuing a simpler life.

I’m definitely not perfect at this and never will be, but I really want to strive for it. When John is old enough to understand, it will be so critical for those emotional needs of his to have been met and it’s amazing how it all starts with me.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. Anna permalink
    January 22, 2010 1:50 pm

    I’ll soon be learning all about being a mom… but in the meantime, I think being emotionally available is a big challenge in marriage, too. I think part of why marriages fail is that everyone is caught up in life, becoming like roomates who live together, go to work, even divide up parenting responsibilities without ever being EMOTIONALLY involved.

    Thanks for the reminder!

  2. January 22, 2010 2:38 pm

    Great comment Anna. I wholeheartedly agree. I would have written all about marriage on this one if I could have- wanted to stay on the mommy point.

    We are constantly working at making sure our emotional needs are being met as well in our marriage. Life can happen so fast and all the sudden you look back and have to make up for lost time with each other. It’s crazy.

    I always enjoy your feedback 🙂

  3. January 22, 2010 2:40 pm

    oh yeah and so excited for what’s to come for you in being a Mom!

  4. January 22, 2010 5:32 pm

    Great-looking blog, Samantha! I appreciated your post as I’ve been wondering this week about the same thing–how to best ensure needs are met for my toddler. I just added 3 new things to my plate so life is busier, which means less time with my 2 year old guy. All the more important to ensure that time is quality. How goes your writing?

  5. January 24, 2010 2:21 pm

    Thank you Dawn. I can only imagine how life is busy for you being an author, speaking, and traveling but I will be praying that when you do have that time, that it will be quality- like you said.

    I’m excited to hear about what you’re working on.

    Writing is going well. I’m working 34 hours so lots of writing there. When I get the chance at home to write, I’m writing posts and still fleshing out some ideas for a book proposal. Just haven’t had the time that I would like to have. Any advice on finding that balance in writing with family, work, daily demands, etc?

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